She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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