Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sext me about skeletons
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
