Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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