if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
