i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
