This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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