So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
