Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
