how can u be prego again
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
