I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
