i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
