i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
