I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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