What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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