wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize