he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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