Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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