Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
