Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
