You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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