Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
