Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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