If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
