boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
