I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
