Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
