This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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