I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
