I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it's like iHOP with fire
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
