Your face is a jimmy john
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
