I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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