we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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