HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
