He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
