do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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