Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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