I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
