she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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