From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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