I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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