Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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