OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Green mimosas i think yes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
