I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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