he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
