hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
