Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
