So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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