i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
