I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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