Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
