I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
