just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Even my vagina gasped.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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